IT'S OKAY TO BE HAPPY WITH A SIMPLE LIFE

This past Sunday at my church, the message was about limitations. Being a perfectionist, this is not my favorite topic, but we all have limitations and things that are just not meant for us, for whatever reason.

But this is hard, right? Us twenty-somethings were raised with a "you can do anything you want to do, and be anyone you want to be!" philosophy. And while that was meant to be a great thing, the implication is that literally every choice is available...and if we're being honest, that's just not true! 

In high school, I went to gymnastics lessons for two years straight and I was still never able to do a simple back handspring. My chances of being an Olympic gymnast...pretty much zero. Some things just aren't meant to be. And actually, knowing that and coming to terms with it takes a lot of the pressure off!

But to me, the main problem with this "you can do anything!" mindset, combined with social media, is that it makes everyone feel like they're supposed to do something EPIC. Because if you can do literally anything that you want to do, why wouldn't you choose the super rich and famous route?

I think that this way of thinking can lead otherwise happy people into thinking that they're not good enough. Or rich enough. Or famous enough. Or..."epic" enough.

I think that if you find something difficult that you love to do, and that also fits in with your real passions and values, then by all means work your butt off and go get it! You really might "make it big" - the sky is the limit! But if what you love is organic farming, raising a family, nursing, teaching, doing people's accounting (hard for me to imagine but I'm sure that these people exist!), or something that doesn't include a lot of recognition or money, that's okay too! Don't let society's way of thinking interfere with the real things in your life that you love.

I've written recently about my career and how I dabbled in acting a bit. It might be hard to understand how anyone would stop focusing on a career as exciting as acting (even though lots of people who were much, much more successful at it than me have quit!), for something boring like writing and running a shop in my house all day by myself. But if I'm being honest, I am so much happier and at peace with my life. I am a homebody and a control freak. Running an at-home business is the perfect route for me. :)

The take-away? Be true to yourself, and know that 

it's okay to be happy with a simple life.

{a print inspired by this post is now available in the shop, if you would like to add this reminder to your home!} http://charmandgumption.com/products/simple-life-print-choose-your-color

LIVING SIMPLY

Last week, I started reading this book called Simplicity Parenting, which might seem strange given that I do not have any children. But I've mentioned before that I enjoy thinking about these things and I also enjoy learning about psychology (I minored in it in college). After reading about the book here, I immediately requested it from my library. 

Basically, this book talks about some really groundbreaking stuff that seems like it should be common sense. It is obviously directed toward parents, but I actually found a lot of the information applicable to adult life as well. 

The author explains that in today's fast-paced world, kids (and adults) have too much stuff and it's making them overwhelmed. He says that most parents should cut their child's number of toys in half, and then in half again and sometimes I think there are a lot of adults that should do the same thing with their own stuff! I know that I am the type of person who can't focus well if my environment is a mess. In college, I always had to clean my room before I could study. Our brains don't function as well if there is a bunch of stuff cluttering up our environment (and therefore our minds). He also did a study which proved that minimizing the amount of toys and just "stuff" in a child's environment can reduce symptoms of ADD or cure it all together. Crazy right? But it makes sense. 

He also explains the types of toys kids should have. Kids need toys, yes, but they need toys that leave room for imagination. I mean, how often do you see kids playing with the big box that a fancy toy came in? That's because the box can be anything they want it to be, while the fancy toy is a set object that can't really become anything else in the child's mind. Kids also need more time outdoors, doing art projects, or playing with their parents and less time on electronics, in front of the TV, or playing with complicated plastic toys that just require pushing a lot of buttons. 

image via con fetti

This book is loaded with lots more information than the little bit that I touched on so I definitely recommend getting this one if you have small children or are just interested in this stuff like me. I actually found it really motivational just in my every day life. Since I started reading it, I have made a real effort to be more in the moment rather than rushing through life and trying to "multi-task" (another effect of having too much stuff) because it makes you so much less productive. I have also gone through my closet and took a load of stuff to Goodwill (something I have always done every so often anyway), which always feels so good!

Has anyone else read this book? What are your thoughts on this idea?

TOO MUCH INSPIRATION?

Today I want to talk about being what I call "over inspired". It sounds like a contradiction because being inspired is a good thing, so how can you have too much of it? Here's what I think:

The Internet is an amazing source of inspiration. If you are planning a wedding, building a home, or just trying to figure out what you want to wear today, it doesn't take much time online to find beautiful pictures and ideas to help you decide what to do. Not to mention the addition of Pinterest (which I love, don't get me wrong), which brought Internet inspiration hunting to a whole new level. So, what's the problem? To me, all of this "inspiration" can harm us when we start to feel a few different ways:

1. Every good idea has been done before.

2. My ___(wedding, home, family, closet, etc.) will never be that beautiful.

3. Everything creative I have attempted is terrible compared to this so why even try?

The effects of feeling any of those three ways are obviously negative. A little bit of inspiration to get the creative juices flowing and trigger new ideas is a good thing, but so much that you feel defeated before you even begin is very sad. 

This is something that bothered me for quite a while, especially being a small business owner. I would get what I thought was a good idea, and then search online for it, usually just to make sure it hadn't been done before. There's nothing wrong with a little competitive analysis, but usually I would find something similar that was done in a different way that already had about a million pins on Pinterest and I would think, "Why bother with this idea - this person has already done it so much better than I could."

To me, the saddest example of this is with weddings or family. A wedding, for example, is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life. I'm sure brides have always had pressure to create a beautiful wedding, but now I wonder how many brides set impossibly high expectations based on pictures they've pinned to their "Dream Wedding" board. A day that could have been fun and uniquely them becomes a disappointment because it's not blog or Pinterest-worthy.

So, how do we keep this from happening? I think the best thing to do is to use inspiration sites like Pinterest sparingly and just for fun. If you have a good idea, just do it! Find out if other people did it later. This way you will carry out the idea your way rather than being influenced by the ideas of others. Also, don't compare yourself to people on these sites! Listen to Teddy (above) - he was a smart guy. A picture of a perfect room probably took hours of staging and styling and lighting to make it look perfect. Who's to say that the gorgeous wedding you have been drooling over ended up being a perfect marriage? Focus on you and do your own thing!

Can you relate to this feeling of being over-inspired?

PS. 13 signs you spend too much time on Pinterest :)

(Photo Source)